YOUR DAILY HEADACHE! 

Ever have thoughts in the shower? 

• If the oldest person on earth is 116 years old, that means 117 years ago there was a completely different set of humans.  
• Why do people say tuna fish but not, beef mammal, and chicken bird?  
• Most people are buried in fancy clothes, so an apocalypse would be a formal event. 

•  A male lunch lady is a lunch lord. 
•  Do camels know if whales exist?  
• A paper cut is a tree’s last revenge.  
• Outer space is an hour away if your car went straight up.  
• If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, that means your pants are tucked into your shirt.  

• Taking a dog named shark to the beach, is probably a bad idea.  Maybe dogs bring us sticks because that was bred into them over a millennium, of humans needing firewood. 
•  If a person is born deaf, what language do they think in?  
• Do crabs think fish can fly? 
•  If time travel was invented, does that mean it always existed? 
•  You aren’t actually afraid to be alone, you are afraid that you aren’t alone.  

• If a candle shop burns down, would it smell good or bad?  
• Every person in history has looked at the same sun as you. 
•  To fall asleep, you need to pretend to be asleep. 
•  A fork at a restaurant has been in thousands of other mouths.  
• When we say ‘Hair’ we mean a lot of hair, but when we say ‘Hairs’ we mean a little bit of hair.  

• The only time incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly, is when it’s spelled incorrectly.  
• Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.  
• You can’t stand on stairs backwards. 
•  What if all ancient Greek sculptures are Medusas victims. 
•  We eat pizza from the inside out. 

•  If you think about it, you have never seen all the times on the clock.  
• I wonder when dogs follow you into the bathroom, it’s because you follow them to the bathroom, maybe they think it’s how it worked. 
•  George Washington died in 1799, the first dinosaur bone was found in 1824. George Washington never knew dinosaurs existed.  
• When people say ‘excuse me’ they usually say it at the volume that tells you how much you need to move. 

Hope you have a headache, have a good day, love ya!